Time to Keep On Truckin'

I’m beginning to be convinced that in certain instances drastic measures do indeed need to be taken in order to change your fate…not that it doesn’t hurt significantly. I’m not exactly proficient at letting go, however, if pain is necessary to feel true pleasure then letting go is part of the package. Some of us don’t come from ideal backgrounds or anywhere within sight of ideal and sometimes the best thing you can do to beat the odds is to become unpredictable. Sometimes you have to clean house and then choose with great thought what and who you will decorate your life with. I vow to stop living in the past, whether consciously or subconsciously (no more reoccurring nightmares please), and to embrace the present moment with a positive future always on the horizon. I still want to try to make amends with past mistakes and to redeem myself in whatever ways I can.  I want to try hard to be a good friend to at least one person (more if I can learn to multi-task better).  I want to try to clean my house a little more so my chi can flow more easily.  I want to accept my husband for who he is and who he is not and stop relying on him to provide for my every need.  I want to do brave things so that I will become braver. I want to continue to work out more so that I will feel more confident (and maybe attempt a bikini in the spring). I want to work hard in college so that I develop my interests and hidden talents; so that I can act wisely and thoughtfully in the world. I want to ensure that I tend to my children’s needs better; that I provide them with a rich existence and plenty of opportunity to develop their own interests and talents.  These things can’t happen unless I continue disciplining myself to keep filtering out the destructive forces, choosing the supportive forces and recognizing the good that’s already here. I will become strong if I practice being strong.